I, The self insert
by silvergazimon
Summary: A new toon comes to Acme Acres, there is more to him then skin deep.
1. Opening the processor, then type

It was hard to believe he had done this, looking at the box that had just recently arrived the thought kept on going through his head that he knew that this was an solution, an only solution, to all of his hunting skills, or rather a lack of them. Taking off the lid he could see it, it cost a lot of money, even for someone like him, but he knew it was going to be well worth it when he hung those two annoying fuzz balls on his wall, the beginning of a very long collection of trophies he hopes. Inside of the box was the a piece of paper that cover the object, it was the company's name and instructions on how to use the item. Half ignoring it and reaching for the thing itself he almost pulled back his hand, it was almost too eerie how it felt. Taking a minute again he grabbed it and pulled it out, being custom tailored and built up upon the information he had given to the company he knew it was go beyond just "fit". Taking a minute of looking it over he noted that this was not like any other body suit he had seen, there were no zippers and seem to have something moving underneath the lining.

_Nanomachines,_ he thought to himself. Picking up the paper he had discarded earlier he looked it over, it was placed on just any other body suit and the nanomachines inside would do all of the work. Taking a deep breath it was time to put all of his skills not only as a hunter, but as an actor and a con artists to the tests. Taking off his own clothes before slipping on the suit, as the instructions said for maximum effect, he stood there in the new object while looking at the mirror. The suit was a second skin, almost like a first skin. It wasn't stiff or rubbery like other guises he wore, it was a bit surprising. It was expensive for these reasons, but it was going to be worth the work because in the end of it all, Montana Max was going to be the greatest hunter in the world.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

School was out, summer had came into effect two weeks ago and the trio had been sitting on the couch for the last few hours not moving a single inch, Hampton on the left, Buster centered and Plucky brought up the right of the couch. What was even sadder the girls were no better at Bab's home, but for the most movement of the two groups was with Plucky, who had just shifted his legs for a more comfortable sitting arrangement. This was basically how everyone had planned their entire summer vacation, when Buster seldom seen mother had came around those plans had to be, as many would say, rearranged.

"This sucks," Plucky said. The were sitting in the middle of the park, wienie burger was temporary closed due to _health concerns for public safety, _whatever that meant. Being summer there a lot of other kids, and a few collage students, going around doing the basically same thing as them. Moping that they could not stay in all summer.

"Here here," the other two chimed.

After a few minutes slowly moved on Plucky said, "you know what we need, new blood."

"Yep," Hampton nodded.

"Yeah, some one that can shake this up a bit."

As if on some strange cue, as many things in Acme Acres, a voice had cut through the air. Most of the people ignore it, but the thee had turned their heads. In a sing song tone, the owner was slowly climbing up the hill.

"Negue pas capab marche sans mais dans poche,

Cepou vole poule -

milatte pas capab marche sans corde dans poche,

ce pou vole choual -

Blanc pas capab marche sans l'arzan dans poche,

ce pou vole fille."

At the last tone the person had been at the top of the hill, starting the song over again as he just blissfully walked by the group. They just sat there for a moment, half staring while they all knew this will not end well.

"So," Hampton spoke.

"So," Plucky added.

"So," Buster leaned forward. "Alright, who has a coin." he looks towards Plucky with a stern eye, "excepting you."

Hampton, reaching into his overalls, managed to produce a coin. "Here, I got one."

Now with a coin in hand Buster sighed, "alright, heads we stay clear of that guy, tails we go introduce ourselves to that self insert." They nod, the coin was flipped and it moved through the air, it seem like time moved slow as it came to the ground. They all looked at the outcome.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

"How was I suppose to remember which coin Plucky gives me?" Hampton tried in vain to defend himself as the three were walking down the street, following the singing tone. The song had changed but it was still in that cheerful tone, carrying about the air like some cartoon scent. They saw him, leaning against the lamp post just going on like he did at the park.

"Tous les jours de l'an,

Tous les jours de l'an,

Tous les jours de l'an,

The trio came closer, he was pretty much oblivious to his surroundings. How he even made it to the park was amazing, or just pure dumb luck.

Vous pas vini ouare moin.

Mo te couche malade dans litte;

Mo voey nouelles appres mo la reine-

Looking over the toon, a black skunk with some messy white hair on his head and a blue Hawaiian shirt his eyes, from what they had seen, were sharp brown. Other that and his odd singing there was not much that would make him more noticible from the background characters.

Vous pas soulement vini ouare moin

A present, que mo gaillard,

Char ami, mo pas besoin ouare vous."

On the last note, at the very end, he tilted his head towards Buster. For a full minute they just stood there, the new guy seemed a little bit unnerved from the unwanted staring contest. He, taking no more, broke the silence, "may I help you?"

"We were just wondering," Hampton said.

"When we saw you in the park." Plucky added.

"Just minding your own business." Buster finished.

"Who are you?" they all asked at the same time, sending the poor skunk reeling back a bit before he just blinked. He smiled a little bit, nervous but a friendly smile.

"My name's Roger," he extended a hand for good gestures, "Roger Marizu." each of them, stating their names and taking his hand.

"We've never seen you around before."

"I had moved here a few weeks ago," his hand went to rub the back of his neck. It seemed like a tired old cliché but the guys just half listen, "school was coming to an end and there were so much to be done I guess they figured there really was no reason for me to go this semester."

"Rioght," the three nodded. Even though they believed his story, there was so many like him and none of them seem to have anything very interesting about them. If they were not bored for summer they would have just turned tail and found a way to never see him ever again for the rest of their lives, but for now they were almost desperate for something.

"Come on, Roger." Buster said, placing a friendly arm around the new guy. "We'll show you around town, where to go and where to avoid."

Rogers, smiling, could only say, "thanks guys."


	2. Bunny hopping into the scene

In a day almost mirroring the guys the girls had spent most of the day ether sitting at the park among the dazed and confused people or walking to random places hoping for a thrill or two. The only things though were bores and snores, which caused them to go into an almost catatonic state which made them appear more like extras in a Romero project then actual people. They did count their lucky stars that it wasn't tromaville, despite what could have been protest from the men. When the time to meet the new guy they were standing before the shut down Wienie Burger, staring longly at the tables inside with memories of just sitting for hours on end in the air conditioning without a single care in the world. That would suddenly stay a memory as the air vents had came down, what had been contained within was best left described as ashes of various animals and radiation material. Those girls just stared at each other after seeing that, silently they made a pact to find a new place to hang out during the summer.

Fifi, who for a moment a bit green which turned her purple fur into a odd shade of navy blue, suddenly turned bright eyed and very cheerful. "Oh la la!"

"Hey sherl."

"Like, yeah Babsy?"

"Is there a skunk around here, or at least a poor schmuck with a stripe on his back?"

"Get her off of me!" before the answer could be made it was made for them, turning their heads they could see Fifi wrapping herself around some fellow, they couldn't tell who it was as the tail was obscuring most of his features. The guys were trying desperately to pry her off of the catch the girls just stood there, trying not to smirk too much. It took up to five minutes to finally get the skunkette off of the guy.

"This," Buster said huffing after straining himself, "is Roger Marizu."

"He-" he caught his breath for a minute, "-llo." Gulping in some air he stood up the best he could, hand outstretched in the most friendly manner to shake their hands - even Fifi's, but with caution.-

"I've seen you around," Babs said as Buster chimed in with the same words.

"We've already been through that bit," Buster added.

"Yeah," Roger nodded. "I'm from New Orleans, close to the French quarters. Moved here a few weeks ago, school was almost done and everyone said it wasn't worth it this year."

"Oh moi cheri," Fifi whispered to Shirley, "he iz fro', thee Frençis quartar."

"Like, cool it." Shirley knew that trying to talk her friend out of a romance that her prediction say it will end in doom, but as a friend she at least try. "These guys are dime a dozen, and some junk."

Fifi, reaching into her body pocket fished out a dime, "here iz a dime, bring moi a dozen."

Oblivious to this scene were the guys and Babs, who were more interested in finding some place to just hang around and not be bothered with this business about the outdoors, nature and fresh air. You know, overrated things. Some suggestions were mentioned, Roger didn't want to go to his house cause he was still unpacking, no one wanted to go to Plucky's and Hampton would sooner die then let someone into his house after Dizzy had stopped by during the rainstorm last season, "I had finally managed to get the footprints off of the ceiling." he proudly said.

They all mull over the decisions a bit, none of the suggestions were good. Just as all hope was lost an idea had sparked, "how about Gamestop?" they all looked at him, the men a bit curious while the girls sort of cringed a bit. While the group knew the new guy was inserting himself way too fast but with the situation as it is they were pretty much backed into a corner. Of course the perk is the new guy can buy, or at least that was what Plucky thought. In the moment they all could only nod, "does anyone know where one is?"

"There's one down the road," Plucky eagerly pointed out, the thoughts of having a new game system, or three.

Sighing as the group shuffled towards the small store settled at the end of a strip mall next to a nail salon and a liquor store, why they would put it there no one really know. Roger stood there, a bit in a daze before shouting, "I'm _NOT_ _paying_ for your thing!"

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Time at the store was somewhat sort but a fun romp, mingling around and looking over the stacks of pre-pre-pre-pre-owned (read: handled by everyone else like a fifty cent hooker and then discounted), some had their own preferences such as Buster and Plucky were graviting towards most of the sandbox gangster, sandgangstas as they would call it, as Hampton was near anything involving billiards and tournament poker. Fifi, trying her best to be discrete, was close to the massive Warhammer display, stick fingers moving the box unseen then dropping it onto the _I don't want people see me buying this_ part of the counter. Shirley was a bit more into just floating around, which sort of freaked out the employee behind the counter.

This left two, who both were in the Gamecube section, or rather the discounted second the store kept in the bin near the front. Babs had made the excuse that she was looking for her siblings while secretly searching for something for herself, and Roger who just wanted to be apart of the group and mulling around. It was something when their hands did meet in the middle, reaching for the same game at the same time. For Babs she saw the price and could hardly believe it, for Roger he always wanted to play the game and could never find a copy. For a few seconds their eyes locked as they were dumbfounded, it took a full second for everything to be realized.

"_LET GO!_"

"**IT'S MINE!**"

Everyone, except the clerk, had turn to see the two pulling on the only copy of Killer7. They had basically been tied, nether giving or releasing their prize while shouting insults and random facts about the creator, Suda51, to prove who was the bigger fan. As this went on Plucky would only lean in to his buddy and whisper, "stiff competition."

"Sure," Buster mock shivered. "I am so scared of this guy, Babs will leave me in the rain at the prom for sure!"

"Better be careful," Hampton added. "He might be, making the hail Mary Sue pass!" the three laughed as the struggle continued, soon the victor had emerged from the fight as Roger held it up high triumphantly. How he had managed was unseen and best left unsaid, only the fact Babs was now staring daggers into his back while he checked out.

After the incident they all were heading towards the park, Babs staying as far away from the new guy as possible while Fifi was trying her best to hide what she had bought and make goo-goo eyes at the skunk. The said skunk was too proud of his victory trophy and just kept on staring at it, smirking all the while. Each of them departed from the group, Shirley first then Plucky. Fifi, while a bit sadden she would have to break away from the skunk, waved as the group was whittled down to almost three when Hampton also departed. Babs stuck close to Buster, feeling if she gotten even five inches within the new guy she was going to kill him. Rogers, knowing when to take a hint, waved a wordless goodbye before departing into the darkness of the woods.

"Good riddance."

"What's wrong Babsy, didn't like him?" Buster said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, like the usually do when they walk each other home. She just give him a glare before looking down at the path, "you know how these guys-"

"- and gals -"

"Right, well you know how they work." Buster had a few gestures with his fingers as if he was drawing in the air, "they come in, try to weasel their way into the group then make moves on one of us before they just disappear."

Babs nodded, smiling a bit as she remember the time that one of those type went after Plucky. "It took him three weeks to get the tar out."

Buster nodded, "see, easy come and easy go."

The rest of the walk home was quiet, none of them really said anything except their goodbyes when they parted. Looking up at the clouded sky for a moment Buster just thought about it, the cycle of the new guys and wonder how long before this one would start making a move.

_If Fifi doesn't do so first,_ he thought humorously on his way down the rabbit hole.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Being torn between disgust and sheer joy he stood in his room with the suit on, his parents were a bit surprised but said nothing of it. He hated being the nice one, and the _name_, he hated that name but it was all working perfectly. Now he had to get even closer, make himself the center of their attention so that every piece of collectible information would filter through him. But he must be a bit subtle about it, he cannot afford to blow his cover now. Plans had to made, formulated and perfectly pulled off. Thanks to this suit, he can do it all.

After he completes the Lion episode.


	3. had joined the party

Fifi had written into her diary about the new boy in her life, and for the sake of keeping this story from being something rated X - or even worse, the triple R rating - there were certain things she had wanted to do to him. Once all of that had been said and done, redone then done again, she settled into the soft cushion of the Cadillac and turned on the tv. Just as she was settling in she heard a shrill beep from the corner, moving quickly and turning off the tv she turned on the laptop. Her parents were on webcam and just looking as displeased as always, they were always displeased.

"Hello mother, father." Fifi spoke with her natural Nicé accent as it was a costume for her, if she had spoken any form of English it would result with a tongue lashing of a life time.

"Hello, Fifi." Her father spoke, "we're just checking up on you."

There was a moment of silence, Fifi was a bit unnerved that her mother and father were studying her so intensely. After a moment they pulled back from the camera, they looked at each other. "She met someone."

"Who is it?" her father asked, she could not tell if he was angry or happy. It was kind of hard to tell with him, she never seem to hear anything other then boredom or being displeased.

"And more importantly are they a skunk?" the mother chirped in.

"I had met someone new," Fifi said a bit nervous. "He's name is Roger Marizu-"

"Marizu?" her father raised a brow, he leaned in close to the camera. "What kind of name is Marizu? Is it American?"

"Who cares about that!" the mother shouted as she pulled the male skunk away from the computer, "the important thing is, is he a skunk?"

"First, I don't know what kind of name that is, second he is a skunk." Fifi watched her parents sigh in relief, which was irksome to the young skunkette. "I had met him yesterday, I will tell you more about him after I learn more."

"Alright, dear." her mother spoke with something underlining tone.

"We would like to meet him soon." her father said before the computer shut down. Leaving her in the glow of the screen of the laptop her parents had sent her from Dublin, Ireland. Since there was nothing much she could do the young skunkette had decided to play some games she had bought.

_Whoever this Karot8tr is_, she thought in her native language, _They're going down!_

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

A groan escaped her lips, the night had been a bit rough since her brother and sister, the second oldest of the bunch, had hogged the gamecube all night and was practically forced to play some game on the pc. While she has a "meh" opinion about them the thing was booted up, installed by her father and ready to go, after spending two hours learning how it was played she had gone online to face someone named PepsLuvr who had royally owned her, the other guy and possible a few others. But none of that was a problem because the morning was worse as she could see the black skunk, standing there in the middle of the street with a smirk on his face. Luckily there was a buffer, a street, several cars and her ability to just walk a different direction.

Of course he had to follow, on the other side of the street singing like he had done the day before. Babs ignored it, the best she could. But he was quite, as one would put it, annoyance.

"Mo pas Connin queque quichause,

Qu'appé tourmenter moi la,

mo pas connin qui la cause

mo coeur apé brulé moi comme ca."

Rather hear the rest of the song Babs had spin changed into Roger, as in Roger Ebert that is, and said. "Do to the performance and the actor in general I give this a thumbs down," complete with the gesture.

Not to be out done Roger, as in Roger Marizu, had done his own spin change into Ben Lyons. "Based on that work, I would have to say skip it." Babs was at a loss for the moment, it was pretty oblivious that the new guy was really trying hard. A bit too hard, in the honest opinion, and in truth she did not want to do something that anyone would regret. Well, maybe she wouldn't but someone would. Walking across the street, cars whizzing by but she was pretty oblivious to it all until she was just about nose to nose with the skunk with teeth bare and eyes wide she was breathing harshly and had looks that could kill, she was about to do so. Roger for the moment this was happening felt some fear as he tried to back away, _over did it._

"What is the matter with you?" Babs voice was a bit monotone, arm wrapping around one shoulder like a chum. Roger had been a bit confused, and still scared that the bunny was going to snap then eat his face right there and then. "I know your type," she continued without really taking in his scared wide eyes, "you come to Acme Acres then try your best, which is mediocre, making some moves on a gal like me then poof-" she moved her hands like a magician "-the SIC vanishes."

"SIC?" Roger asked, still prepared to run if need be.

"Self Inserting Characters," Babs pulled out some model sheets of various characters, "it's a show biz term for guys that try to get into the spotlight, and unlike a lot hardworking folks they tend to _force_ themselves into the spot light. But since no one really likes them they tend to disappear faster then the older cummingham on Happy days."

Roger nodded as he took in the information, then it hits him what she was saying. "You think I'm one of those SICs?" his tone was sharp as he pointed towards himself, "I just wanted to be a friend here."

"Hey," Babs raised her hands defensively, "don't shoot the messenger, I am just trying to say if you want to be apart of the crew then you got to tone it down," she goes and grabs his shoulder again in a friendly manner. Roger now felt like he was being sold a 1994 Toyota and being told it was a 1969 Dodge Charger, or something of the equivalent with the advance coming out of her mouth. "You see, you need a catch. Something that won't over power the others but yet something pretty you own, get what I'm saying?"

Annoyed enough that Roger closed his eyes as he removed the pink rabbit's arm by the sleeve then dropping it roughly, he did not even bother saying anything before walking away. Babs, standing there watching him walking away like so many other SICs that wont' take advice from the experts. She just crossed her arms as the skunk slowly became more and more distant until he was gone, turned a corner. Briefly he reappeared again, only more blurred at 100 MPH followed by an Elmyra blur going 90 MPH. Shrugging she walked the other way, let him learn on his own.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Once he had out ran Elmyra and lost her somewhere, all he could remember was a mirror store and a book about badgers and something with ketchup. After that he ran, like a flock of seagulls he ran far away. Jumping fences, cars and anything else that could get in his way, no he had leaped over a large fence. Pressing himself up against the fence as his heart was jumping out of his chest, doing the ol' 4-f bit, and catching his breath he knew he was not out of the woods. Somewhere out there was a deranged red haired sadist looking for the black skunk victim, just waiting to do god knows what. That is when he heard someone calling, going "here stinky-kitty!"

As it became louder the skunk stuck to that wall, trying his best not to make any type of noise that would attract the insane girl. The repeating mantra as the search went on, then it began to fade. Farther the voice got, the more relaxed Roger had got until she was completely gone. There were no more sounds, for a moment Roger was safe. He looked around at this surroundings, finding himself in some kind of junkyard with piles of old discarded cars and such. There was a gate at the other side, a good way to escape.

He did not know why he had done what he done, rearing back against the wall then launching like a spring but he was glad he had done so. Because the "Arm of Elmyraä" had burst through the wall, missing him by mere seconds. Turning his head to let out a victorious laugh he did not exactly watch where he was going, although he cannot control his air speed or direction there he could have always thrown his arms up or tucked into a ball or try stopping by digging his feet into the ground, which would have prevented a very painful collision with the side of a Cadillac El Dorado. Sliding down and landing on the ground in a thud he almost missed the sound of the door opening, then a squeal of delight. Looking up he could see the purple skunkette standing there, knowing he had just went from the frying pan to the fire.

"The skunk hunk had came!" Fifi spoke as she swooned, "come to moi, love!"

Roger pushed away as she lifted him up, "Whoa, WHOA! Hold on one minute." he manage to pull away gentle as he looked into her eyes for a moment, "I am not that kind of guy, I just came by to ask if you wanted to go out some time."

Fifi looked a bit confused but also happy, an odd mix if one would say. "Qui, QUI!"

Roger avoided another glomp session as he side stepped her, be just smiled in that nervous smile of his. "Not now, I want it to be nice."

"Oh, that iz so, how does one say, romantic," Fifi said. "Moi and Roger, dancing in thee moonlight."

Roger nodded, "Yeah. Something like that," he cast his gaze away from the skunkette for a moment before returning to her. "Just give me a day to set up everything and I will swing by on Saturday at 5, sharp."

"Qui my 'ansome hunk!" Roger blushed a bit at those words as Fifi giddily gone into her home, already preparing for the date. Roger stood there, unsure of what he had done but knowing he had to back up his claim. Then it hits him, maybe that pink rabbit was right about something. maybe he did need a _catch._ Walking away from the yard a bit pleased how things turned out a two plans were forming in his head, one with Fifi and the other much more diabolical in nature.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Elmyra stood around the corner watching her pet to be leaving the junkyard, she would have pounced right on him if her arm was not stuck in the wall. A small growl escaped her throat, there was no doubt that the other stinky-kitty, a Polish cat as her father would say, was already digging her vamp claws into him. In her mind, the very odd and secret part that hid itself away even from herself, had been set into motion about a plan to catch him.

In that demented and surprisingly smart part of the mind it was justifying that Elmyra was going to save the skunk from himself, even if it means taking him and locking him up then throw away the key because that was caring and loving people do.

But first, her mind deduced, her arm must be freed from the wall.


	4. had learn a new skill!

It was a sticky mess he had gotten himself into and it took every single connection in Acme Acres and beyond to pull something like this off, Monty had even gone over the details on his drafting board like Wil E. Coyote - Super genius - had done in the old cartoons. Much had been poured into every thing from dinning to entertainment and even what to do if something unexpected happens. An evil smile had been on his face while finishing up, now nothing will stop him from becoming the perfect hunter.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

"Told the new guy a thing or two?" Shirley asked before eating a fry.

"Hm?" Babs looked up from her carrot double deluxe surprise sundae. Spoon still in her mouth and eyes a bit confused.

"Like, I can see it in your aura, and junk."

"Aura my sweet patootie! You're reading my mind." Babs spoke after swallowing her food, going in for another bite.

"Potato, Pota-to" Shirley sort of looked away. Trying her best to look innocent, even with a bit of a halo effect added in. Babs had knocked the thing askew then molded some of the duck's hair into points, quickly rearranging her back into place Babs just sat there musing a bit.

"I've always wanted to know something."

"Not after that I won't" Shirley had peered into the young pink bunny's mind, sort of out habit by now. "Like, mind reading is not a toy. You could see some pretty nasty things that cannot be unseen," leaning against the table she added. "Like what you had done on Saturday night with..."

"Okay," Babs blushed a bit not wanting to discus that. "And that is invasion of privacy!"

"You did it first with your mom's..."

"Not in front of the kids," Babs motioned a finger towards some of the other costumers at the restaurant. For the moment of embarrassment had been pretty bad before Babs could even speak again, "how did you learn to read minds?"

Shirley, shifting a bit, "well it is like, well, like, almost always there." Shirley propped her head up with a hand, "because the daughter of fringe scientists kind of helps, and junk."

"I see." Babs' spoon tapped the bottom of the dish, moping a bit that her sundae was all gone. But going back to her original thoughts she looked at Shirley, who was just somewhat just going into a state of mind of peace. Or was it out of state?

"Don't try it Babs." Shirley said after in trance, "the universe knows what you are up to. And they say the outcome is not going to be great, in fact it would be disastrous."

Babs, half listening as she pouted more for her lack of sundae before the next one had came by, due to being "two for Tuesday" deal. And it was not even Tuesday ether , which is extra lucky. "Well if the universe say I shouldn't do it, I shouldn't"

"Barbi." Shirley's aura, who is usual quiet but quite physical, had emerged like some great stand. "Listen, do NOT do it!" Babs, held up her hands in defense while going "okay" many time as the conservation revert to silence between them.

"So how if your mom's _massager_ doesn't take batteries how does it work?"

"Gas powered," Babs answered. "Just grab the cord and yank."

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

"You dad made that?"

"Yep."

"All by himself."

"After winning a streak of poker games."

"Right after?"

"Yeah, kind of a shrine."

Buster and Plucky were in the seldomly seen den of Buster's home, even by his best friends. It was not because no one was allowed to go into the room. It was because in the center of the room, in between of the couch and the tv sat in the middle of the room sat dead center of everything was a large rectangular class cube that was about the height of a coffee table. Inside was a well green preserved rabbit leg.

For a moment they were silent, then Plucky spoke up. "_Why?_"

"How should I know?"

Plucky was very distracted by it, he knew it was there but never really bother asking why did his friend's family had the glass encased leg of a tall green rabbit in the middle of the room until now. "So, you're telling me that your father, after the Maxs had won the lottery, went out into the graveyard and..."

"Sliced off his own leg for good luck," Buster finished feeling a bit sickened by his family's macabre actions. Despite the coasters and the magazine on top there still was a rabbit's leg in the set glass suspended forever. "And dyed it green for good measure."

Running his tongue along the inside of his cheek there was much Plucky did not want to know about it, they sat cross armed while just staring at it. "I think we should talk about girls."

"Good change of subject."

"Yeah, got nothing to do with creepy dead legs in glass."

"Right..." Plucky was a bit distracted by the leg, "how's Babs?"

"Good. Sherl?"

"Good." There was more uncomfortable silence before Plucky spoke up again, "who would win in a mud wrestling match, Babs or Shirley?"

"Shirley."

For the few seconds all attention was taken off of the leg and exchanged for what had just slipped out of the bunny's mouth, the leg had a kind of power over some people to make them forget to think before speaking. "Really?"

"No, I mean Babs, yep." Buster was searching around making sure that no pink bunnies had heard him, "just Babs.."

Plucky scoffed at the comments, "I heard you say, and I quote, _'_Shirley'."

Buster, biting his lip for a moment was about to point at the leg and say, "hey, that is bizarre, my entire family is strange." but stopped, that topic was too odd even if would serve to save his bacon. "Alright, I said it, because well basically Shirley's got some power and long." buster stopped himself from making a fool of himself. "And I know Babs has trouble with anything involving leg grabbles."

"How would you know that?"

"Whenever I stop by during off days her brothers and sister would have her in them, and I usually have to tag her out of them."

"Ah."

Silence again, Buster then look over at Plucky. "Who you think would win." Naturally Plucky had the only answer that Plucky would have, he lifted a finger and pointed to himself. Buster just shrugged, ignoring the green leg.

"Living room?"

"You bet."

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Standing before the small doors that lead into one of the country's largest psudeo-new age store, Hip-E-us, those words her friend had said were still echoing about her head. She did know the dangers of misuse of the psychic arts and perhaps saw something in her future that the universe was kindly telling her that perhaps if she wanted to find out what was happening in someone's head she should ask instead of spying. Turning tail she had half walked away when she suddenly darted into the building, almost pulling the doors off of it's railings. All she would reply was, "I can' help myself."

What started this whole pursuit of mental scanning was a few weeks ago she became a bit angered by Buster when she saw his eye wonder over to another rabbit at the mall and when he was confronted he was pretty much "I was looking at that flower cart" or "What girl?"

It was kind of irksome for her and she knew he was lying but he would retort with, "it's not like you can read my mind." now as she approached the front counter she will be able to say, "oh yes I can." And on the added bonus she could win arguments before they even start, picking apart everything before hand then have a ready reply.

_That will show him._ She thought. "Excuse me." she said to the clerk behind the counter, "where can one find the old, stuffy and complex stuff that can be explained in five easy steps?" the clerk jerked his thumb towards a large and imposing isle of dusty, aged and quick thick books. Babs was thankful there was nothing hack'n'eyed after she began searching through them, speaking their name's out loud.

"Fautus manuscript, the plautes of Ebion, the aif adzir, Necronomicon, the book of Thoth," Babs stopped for a moment as she pulled out one with a sour face, "unspeakable horrors powers for dummies." tossing it aside she had found a better title, a simple paperback that was not too thick or too thin and seemed to explained everything simply.

With a smirk, Babs knew soon she would be reading minds with the best of them.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Shifting his weight from on foot to another as he held the box in one hand and flowers in the other, Tiger lilies if one wants to know, less cliché that way. He was dressed in a nice suit, not a tuxedo as it would over doing it, and had was nervous as hell. Knocking on the door he was preparing how to present the two items, working off of all those plans he had made earlier including things like the "hello", the "meal" then the "goodnight kiss" which was mentally rehearsed then re-rehearsed again. The moment he had heard the door open and he turned things did go south pretty fast, or rather in his case north.

Fifi was dressed in a slinky red dress that had divided and separated her bosoms to a point where even the censors would not allow a more detailed description even in this story. The figure she showed off was also a knock out, her hair done up in a stylized bun had topped it all off. Roger was speechless as he handed over the items, unable to speak as the two had gone out on their date. It would be a night that Roger would not forget any time soon.


	5. If you die an epic death, just go walkin

The day came too soon, his head was aching and most of his memory was blurred. Something did not seem quite right but he would figure it out as he tried to open his eyes, his head hurt a bit as some memories came to mind. Last night he does remember taking the skunkette to a nice restaurant and being the envy of every guy while many women just stared daggers towards his date, before that they took a nice stroll through the park, romantic ride and the whole kitten poodle, or however it went, but what had happened _after the restaurant_ was a complete blur.

He rolled around a bit to realize he was not in his room, instead of the nice ceiling and gold sheets he was wrapped in satin sheets and facing the roof of an old 1960's Cadillac. Turning his head a bit he could see the floor, this is where his clothes had mixed with the strap that passed as a red dress the other night then he turned his head the other way to see the still sleeping form of the skunkette. With a gulp he knew, he did knew there would be hell to pay when she wakes up.

He was trying in his damndest to remember what had happened to lead to this, closing his eyes for a moment he remember the restaurant. A fancy establishment with some high brow French atmosphere, no wait a minute, it was not that place as they banned him after someone had stolen his ID and went mad in the place. Now he called it was actually a place right next door, a small little known Spain-styled place called Ferecto, El Crimen ferecto, he thinks. That is when he remembered that they had a tendency to add a lot of alcohol to their food, he did not even think of it because they should have carded him. Now it was coming back, all of it after the dinner they staggered back here then...

_I made it to homebase,_ he thought of that song by Meatloaf before looking over at Fifi. A smile did come to his face, this being his first time and all. That smile had disappeared the moment the skunkette had opened her eyes, that is when things had gone from bad to worse.

She had wasted no time, springing from her bed while delivering a solid punch to his noses as her tongue had moved around in her mouth. Within seconds she had been screaming in her native tongue, with her natural accent as she had collected up his clothes. For a second she had stopped, naked and a practical mess as her eyes were burning with anger towards him, she sneered then threw the ball towards him. "OUT!"

"Now wait," he try to reason as she pointed towards the door. He could see, deep within those eyes were bright fires burning quite bright, wanting to burn him to death at any second. "Couldn't we talk..."

"OUT, NOW!"

"Now listen here!" Roger raised his voice bit, "we had done something last night, it was ether deep and meaningful or raunchy and depraved that depends on where you stand but we had done something last night and we got to face it."

"'Ou do, Moi don't!" Fifi shouted as she took him by his forearm, dragging him towards the door. "'Ou took advantage of a young skunkette that had no idea that you had _that_ on the mind."

"Hey! I didn't know about the booze in the food," Roger was trying his best to wrench his arm out of her grip. "And from what I can recollect you were also into it all, miss falino."

Fifi, mouth agape at what she had just had heard, could not stop herself from raising her hand hand sent it across the air flatly. She had missed Roger by a mile, he was pretty fast for his build, and wound up tumbling onto the bed where she just laid there, crying. Roger stared down at her, lump forming in his throat. He reached down to help but she just turned her head, ready to tear his head off. "LEAVE!"

Roger reeled back, he did not want to leave her like this but he knew it wouldn't help to stay. What he had done was grab a piece of paper and a pen, or at least something to write with, and scribble something down. "Here." Fifi glared at him, he ignored it while leaving it on the tv, "my email, don't throw it away as you might need it." Roger then open the door and was out into the junkyard, leaving her alone. After some time she did move, towards the piece of paper before she grabbed it then crushed it in one hand.

"I never want to see him," she mutter in French, "never again."

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Buster had been sitting in the den with his parents, right in the middle was already uncomfortable. The reason they were never on the show is because one was a one legged gambling jokester - alias the normal one - and his mother was a glasses and sweater wearing closet sexual deviant - alias the odd one out - and the network said no to both of them. If his father had stopped pulling those odd, Tarantino-level pranks and his mother actually managed to keep her panties on there could have been a spot but they decided just to stay off screen.

It was a welcome change that the doorbell would ring, Buster had almost leaped to the door to get out of there. Once he had gotten there he was a bit surprised to see Babs, well he was not all surprise as she was almost always at his home. But she seemed a bit different, he could not tell if it was the dress or her yellow sweater or the fact she was wearing a large turban with a purple jewel set into the center. For a moment Buster just stared before taking out a carrot then speaking while munching on it, "let me guess, trying out for the life of Johnny Carson movie?"

"Ha ha." Babs mock laughed, "I am taking up a new hobby for summer."

"Rug flying, oh king of thieves?"

Babs shot a look that could kill at Buster, "no, it's not that you blue brained..." Babs calmed herself a bit, "I have a secret power that I am trying to unlock so I can be one with the whole universe, and junk."

"Trying to read minds, eh?"

Babs was a bit miffed, she knew it was too oblivious of what she was doing. The book said this would work but she just kept her calm as she knew there were still four more steps to go, in the mean time Babs had taken the high road. Sort of, "no, I'm practicing to part take in a politically incorrect race."

Buster shrugged, "well since you are here, want to stay for tv."

"Parents home?"

"Yeah."

Buster barely had enough time to move out of the way as a pink blur rushed by him, for some odd reason she did enjoy his parent's company. He guessed bird of a feather or the sort of thing when it came to them, without a word he closed the door and went back into the den. Seeing her happily munching on snacks with them and thinking of how marriage with her would be.

_I hope I don't have to cut off both legs when we get hitched._ He thought jokingly, then suddenly half took it seriously.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Roger was not even a few blocks away from the junkyard when he felt like death squeezing every ounce of life out of his body and every bone almost break, he caught what air he could to yell out, "Let go Elmyra!"

"I will help the stinky kitty witty get away from that evil girl." she sang, it was off key and made no sense but she still sang it again as he tried his hardest to pull out of her grip. Struggling had only made the situation much worse but he really wanted away, she petted him and hugged him as they walked down the street. Well, she walked the street dragging him with, until he had turned towards her.

"Let go you crazy girl!" that had stopped her, she had froze there in place still clutching onto the skunk as he tried to free himself. He did not know if things had gotten worse or better as now it was like trying to get loose from a statue, with on last grunt his legs had slipped from her. Only he had not figured, again, on his force and was sent sprawling to the ground.

"Monty?"

Roger, a bit confused and bewildered, looked up at the girl who was now looming over him, becoming nothing more then a silhouette. "Wha?"

"Is that you Monty?"

"Your crazy lady," Roger quickly got to his feet. He was dusting himself off before answering, "I'm Roger Marizu, and I don't know any Monty."

"I know you are Monty," Elmyra almost shouted bring the attention of some by standards. "Only he would yell like that, why are you a stinky kitty?"

Roger gulped, he really did not want to be here. He really wanted to be anywhere else, anywhere. "I said I ain't..." Elmyra gripped his arm as she was face to face with him, almost nose to nose.

"You're Monty." She whispered a bit, "I know you anywhere Monty-wanty." swallowing hard the young skunk quickly pulled the girl a side, not into some dark alley that would cause a stir among but just out of earshot of those that mattered.

"Alright," Roger snapped. "I am, well let's just leave it there."

Elmyra was a bit confused, but she always seemed that way to him. Yet this time it was more like she was actually thinking of something, and it kind of scared him. "Why are like that? Are you trying to hurt the fuzzy animals?"

After a very odd err he had spat out, "no."

"I knew it," Elmyra was again face to face with him just barely touching noses. "This is some trick, something to get in the group and then hurt them from the inside out!"

"Well maybe I had some kind of accident with something I bought," he tugged at his skin, "perhaps I am stuck this way and wanted to make new friends under a new... You're not buying it are you?"

Shaking her head in disapproval and crossing her arms she just glared at him, frowning. "Monty, you wanted to hurt them them anyway they could." Roger was shaking a bit, when Elmyra was talking like a normal person it was time to be afraid. "And now, you pretend to be a friend to them and pretty much betrayed their trust."

"Trust?" Roger had turned the tables, "Trust? They have no trust, they even have a name for someone who tries to be their friends, they discard them like they were some older brother going upstairs with a basketball."

"It is because of people like you they are a bit burnt out," Elmyra said. If he had not known better it seemed like she was speaking from personal experience, but he did not really want to know. "And now you had really had done it, do you realize what could happen."

"Yeah, I know I wasn't thinking..."

"You were thinking," Elmyra then pointed, "just not with the right head."

"Well while all of this lecturing is nice I really just want to go home and be myself again," Roger waved a hand but was stopped. Elmyra had him by the wrist with a very sly smile, which made him very nervous.

"You ain't going no where, stinky kitty." she was pulling him a bit closer, "not if you want the whole thing to really get messy." Roger's eyes had widen, now he was completely to be afraid as he never knew that the red head was even capable of even thoughts of black mail. As the went down the street, Roger doing his best to struggle out of her grip knowing he was really screwed.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Plucky and Hampton were running for their lives, it seemed that during one of those get out of work schemes that Plucky has a nasty habit of coming back and biting him on the butt. And this time was quiet was no different, who knew that the wolverine would mind wearing brushes on his feet.

"I told you." Hampton said as he kept trying on keep in front of his friend, "that was a stupid idea."

"It seemed like one at the time." Plucky retorted as he pulled his friend behind him, "alright it was bad then but it was the thought that counts."

"What thought! A better plan could have come from a night of tequila bombers!"

"You don't drink."

"I am just making a point!" Hampton yelled before dodging a swipe from the wolverine. "Got any ideas to get out of this?"

Plucky reached into his body pocket to pull out a small cube with a string attached to it, a small label was on it stating it was made by Acme. With a yank he threw it behind him and it inflated into a massive brick wall, which had slowed down the wolverine. With a smirk Plucky felt proud before a loud growl and the brick wall had became so scared it crawled out of his way. "You got any ideas?"

"Nope" Hampton stated flatly, they both screamed their heads off as they knew it was the end and in mere seconds the wolverine would be upon them to tear them to shreds. In fact he was pouncing and flying through the air with claws stretched ready to snatching them both, there was no hope for ether of them.

"A wolf-volfy!"

The wolverine had stopped mid-air, eyes bulging out of their sockets as he had came face to face with a short red haired girl. She had just suddenly sprung out of the ground, possibly hiding there for some time, waiting for prey like a trapdoor spider, and held out her arms wide. The wolverine had screamed loudly as it turn tail and ran off, scared out of his wits with the deranged girl following.

"You guys okay?" a voice had made them both jump a bit before seeing Calamity stepping out of the shadows, holding a large remote-like device, he also seemed a bit different. The duo realized it was the oversized collar he was wearing that was different. "Hope the Elmyra bot didn't scare you too."

"Thanks, Cal," Plucky walked forward to give him sort of a hug for saving his life, "if you hadn't sicked robo-death there we would had our bacon cooked."

Hampton glared at Plucky, "that's because of your big _idea_."

"I already admit it was bad," Plucky spoke as if an actor on stage, "let's move on." he looked at Calamity to change the subject of who started the whole thing, "and since when can you talk?"

"I can't," he spoke flatly. Pointing towards the large collar he added, "it's the collar making the sounds, like an electronic voice box, only little more easier to use."

The two just nodded, pretty soon the three were heading out of the woods as the story of how the two wound up in the situation which all Calamity could respond is, "that is the dumbest idea I had ever heard in my life."

"I know," Hampton chimed in.

"You went with it," Plucky snapped.

"Because you dragged me with," Hampton held up his hands, "I had no choice."

"Well whatever reasons you guys had," Calamity said to break up the oncoming fight. "I just happy to finally put my machine to the perfect test."

"Why did you build a robo-Elmyra anyway?" Plucky asked.

"Theft prevention device." was all he said and the two understood.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

After spending half of the evening with the other Bunny family then coming home to find the Gamecube completely free for the night the young pink rabbit was feeling relaxed when she had gone to bed, but instead of just going right to sleep she had turned on her small lamp and read the next chapter of her book. It seems the next step was to relax and do some mental things to allow herself to flow into the universe, while it was a bit confusing it does give an idea why Shirley always says, "and junk" a lot.

While floating into sleep, doing as the book said, she was unaware of the mental dangers she was posing upon herself.

[Author's End Notes]

I had gone back to the earlier chapters and made some corrections, just thought I'd say that.


	6. Despite what people say, we love Mary

The home life was left off of the show despite the several occult and unusual objects they had it was nothing truly frightening or that the censors wouldn't allow it was because the Loons did value some of their privacy. To add to that Mr. and Mrs. Loon did not want most of their work exploited and picked apart by their critics as being glory hounds out to make themselves look good. Other then that they were a normal family, or at least compared to everyone else at least.

Shirley had been in her room half playing some games she had bought a while ago and somewhat listening to the universe prattle on about random and almost meaningless things when she had the impression that the phone was going to ring soon, and it would be for her. Reaching over and picking it up on the first ring the young duck had cradled it between her ear and shoulder.

"Shirley?" a unfamiliar voice had catch her attention.

"Like, yeah and junk."

"This is Calamity..."

"You can talk?" Shirley had interrupted. She had known that the coyote had a damaged voice box that left him mute, or at least that is what she had saw in his aura.

"No, not quite." for some odd reason she was developing a mental image of the coyote rubbing his t-zone as he was trying to fight off a headache, it must be the universe giving her what was happening on the other end. "I'm using an electronic voice box to speak."

"Oh," Shirley was now a bit curious of why he was calling. "What do you need, and keep in mind I am not going to tell you about your fortune about your fate with lil' beeper."

Calamity cringed about that but kept that to himself, "it is about Babs."

Shirley did not like the tone and the way this was going, "about about Babs?"

"Well," there was a slight pause, "you see sometimes the Bunnies tend to hire me to watch over most of their kids when I can..."

"Huh?"

"That is how I pay for all of my ACME devices, well anyway they had asked me to watched the house for the weekend and when I got here I found Babs... Well you have to see her to believe it."

Shirley felt a lump for in her throat, something had happened and it sounded serious. Keeping calm, or as calm as she can be, she only said, "I will be there soon."

"That, that would be very great right now."

Quickly scribbling down a note explaining where she was going and stuff it onto her desk before moving fast to her bed and laying down flat then closing her eyes, listening to the universe more closely before she had left go of everything for the moment. This was going to be difficult, she really did not know Calamity well and don't know how he will react to the situation. Also there were dangers in Astral project of this magnitude but from the way he spoke there was a sense of urgency and there was no faster way to get there then this.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

He was a bit annoyed that he had to stay at her house for a while, luckily unlike all of the other poor souls that had came before him the young skunk has the ability to leave when everything is said and done. Despite this he really hated it, just sitting on the bed as they all played tea party as Elmyra was telling him the name of all of the dolls in her collection. Pouting and crossing his arms he just really wished time would hurry up and the day would end, but he knew it was possibly slow down and even go _backwards_ if need be.

"So Monty," she addressed by his real name, which was bit distracting to Roger. "Why were you leaving that stinky kitty's home after staying over night?" Roger was taken back a bit, a thousand lies ran though his head but none came out of his mouth as he felt like a deer in the lights. Before he could answer Elmyra had giggled, "trick question."

"Huh?" Roger seemed a bit confused as she leaned in pretty close, "I really don't..."

"You slept with her," Elmyra spoke. Her voice was a bit strange, monotone yet singing at the same time. Soft and quiet yet in Roger's ears it pounded into his head like a jackhammer. She placed a hand over the center of his chest, quickly pushing him down he tried to get back up but she pinned his shoulders down. Now she was hovering over him, face blank. "I can put things together, you how that makes me...?"

Roger gulped as she leaned in close and was just about lips to lips as she would whisper something, "...angry."

Leaping up while gripping his shoulders as she lifted him up as her upper torso twist while her feet stayed planted, lifting him over shoulder he went over her head before she had let go as he was almost in an arc that sent him sailing in a fast but low arc right into the wall. After bouncing off of it then landing on the floor he had learned a very painful lesson about life, angry women equals pain.

"Are you alright?" a voice came from another room.

"I'm fine." Elmyra said sweetly, as if she had not just sent a poor male into a wall by sheer strength. "My friend just tripped."

"Well if there is any trouble just yell," and after that Roger was left laying on the floor in a very confused state. No way this was Elmyra, or at least the one he knows. Of course he never really gotten on her bad side, nor does he even known anyone that had. After a few minutes of laying upside down as he watched Elmyra returned to her old self and talking to the dolls and speaking in her own language that others barely can understand Roger came to one conclusion, she was crazy. Moving to rejoin her at the table she just gave that silly smile as she was ready to pour the "tea" into Roger's cup, only to have scolding hot water go right into his lap. It was more true to her nature, but he thinks that one was intentional.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Calamity knew after he hung up the phone it was a matter of waiting, what he had not known it would only take five minutes of waiting.

"Like, what is the problem?"

Calamity had jumped several feet before facing a ghost, or at least what had appeared like a ghost. Taking several second to get his heart to stop beating like a drum, or at least a jackhammer, he half stared at the entity. "Shirley? How?"

"I had fine tuned my aura so it could travel some distance, since I am here mind telling me what is wrong?"

He pointed towards the wooden door that lead into the room that belonged to Babs, they bother moved towards it. Calamity walked as Shirley floated, he talked along the way, "I came here to check on the place since Mr. Bunny kept on calling and no one answered. They called a lot before they had emailed me to check on the place."

"And?" Shirley had not even really waited to get an answer as she had phased through the door, Calamity waited a few seconds before she had reappeared again. "I see what you mean."

The coyote only nodded as he pushed open the door, inside Babs was stiff as a board and was horizonal. What was strange was the hovering, six feet in fact, other then that she seemed to be perfectly okay, Shirley floated over her as Calamity stood by the bunny's side.

"Could you open her eye?"

Calamity nodded, he did not know why she could not just do it herself but instead of arguing he just pulled open Babs' eye. It was perfectly still, unfocused and seemed a bit bloodshot. Letting go it stayed open, not even reacting to the event. He looked up at Shirley and said, "well?"

"Well?" Shirley could only say, "the universe may tell me a lot of things but it holds it secrets back. This is something too big for me."

"What do we do?" Calamity was a bit upset, in a odd way despite their lack of direct interaction he considered Babs a friend. Not a best friend but a friend none the less. "She's in some kind of spiritual coma."

"First, this is no where near spiritual, second I know someone that can help." Shirley held up a finger to add to her point, "but it is, like, a good idea to call an ambulance just in case."

"And you will?"

"Go get an expert on these things, and junk." Shirley added before vanishing.

Calamity rushed to the phone, after dialing he glanced behind him. Somewhat curious, what had happened to do this to Babs Bunny?

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Fifi had spent most of the day washing herself off, trying to scrub away the disgust she felt before spending the rest listening to one song over and over picturing that it was Roger in the place of that poor sap that was dead and had a gun against his head, and she was the one that held that gun. Along with this she had been punishing several players on Warhammer, even taking a new account by the name of ManhaterXninethousand when she had came to the realization about something. She had never had realize it before she had met Roger that it was so unusual.

"No more room in this hell, there's no more room in the next." she muttered to herself, "it's a, how would they say, allusion to Dawn of the day."

After that she had a laugh before playing some more while trying to distract herself from the obvious problem at hand, giving up her virginity to someone she barely even met much less knew and the problems that lay ahead. For a short moment the thoughts had turned to the possibility of STDs, other icky sicknesses like SARs. She shook her head quickly before defeating another group that claimed she was cheating, like all of the others before shutting down. She then laid back on her bed, staring at the ceiling as her mind went back to last night.

She never wanted another shower so badly, but she already knew it will never wash that feeling away. But she will try, no matter what.


	7. A hiatus tends to change Wensdays

"Reality bleeds."

Calamity stared at Dr. Loon carefully opened the young pink bunny's eye while examining her, it had been almost an hour since the rabbit had been admitted into the hospital and it had been fifteen minutes since the doctors would allow any visitors. Often exchanging glances with Shirley and glancing at Babs' listless yet floating body had made the young coyote feel very uneasy, it felt like the world was on his shoulders.

"That is how I would explain it," he stood up while putting away his pen light. "Under the theory of Professor Utonium reality is always bending, some times something opens up..." he stopped for a moment as he glanced over his shoulder, "things go in and out."

"What does that have to with," Calamity waves both hands towards the bunny, "this?"

"Simple, she mentally slipped from this reality into another." Calamity blinked while Shirley seemed a bit horror stricken, the room had grown a bit cold from the news. Reading the young canine expression the doctor speak about the universe, with standard stock footage appearing behind him to illustrate things. "Like I said, reality bends and bleeds into each other, Babs had found a way to send her mental thoughts else where."

"Can they be retrieved?" Calamity's voice was shaking, eyes wide and bit scared.

Dr. Loon was silent, causing the situation to be more grim. The answer was already in the open, yet he spoke, "that cannot be done, everything relies on her. And even if she comes back she won't be the same."

It took five minutes, a full five minutes for the information to sink in. Calamity only could stand there as the feeling of responsible came down, feeling that the coyote seemed to be floating off into despair Shirley wrapped a comforting arm around the canine.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Once the suit came off and the shower was complete Monty had spent the rest of the night in his closet, which is the size of a small football field but no one is counting, going over everything that had happened. From his first time with a girl to Elmyra's sudden burst of intelligence to blackmail every had spun so out of control very fast, what went from to filling his trophy room to trying to avoid being sued and beaten within an inch of his life.

Grabbing both sides of his head while leaning back he let out an annoyed sigh, letting all of these problems grow is a bad idea. Monty did know that somehow, and knowing his luck will only get worse in the end, he must make it right. Reaching into his pocket to retrieve his wireless phone then accessing the 'net, searching out a particular number then having it called.

"'ello?" A tired and somewhat depressed voice answered, "LaFume speaking."

"Feef?" the phone had suddenly gone dead, quickly he had redialed the number.

"'ello?"

"Listening?"

"Non," again came the hang up. Once again the number was dialed, "'isten Roger, I do not want to hear fro' 'ou ever again."

"I wanted to extend a invite," Monty closed his eyes and sucked in some air through his teeth. "If you need anything just, ask."

"I want nothing from you" Fifi snarled.

"But what if," Monty felt the realization hit home about what he had done, there was reactions to actions. "What if..."

"I 'on't want to 'ear it, Roger. I want nothing from you."

"But..." the phone had gone dead, then the loud dial tone filled the air. Once again the number had came only to meet the countless rings, sighing Monty lowered the phone.

Actions and reactions, laying his head into his hands figuring on how to settle this?

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

The afternoon was carefree, laughter and fun was had by all. Well it was had by her, Monty/Roger might have been screaming, but that was ignored. But by the evening the young redhead had came to realize something, what it was was so alien and foreign to her but it was quiet clear. It was a deep thought, the thoughts of what would happen to both Monty and the young skunkette if their relationship develops.

Sitting outside in the swing set Elmyra had spent hours staring at her shoes, feeling very lost.

"Hey, Elly." A voice had called, "you realize that shoe laces are not cloth worms. Do you?"

"That was when I was four!" Elmyra shouted at her brother Duncan, who had been standing next to her for the last minute or so. The siblings use to get along greatly, the nearly perfect duo with her muscle and his brain - or rather imagination - they were close as they can be but age had separated them. The most they ever talk is ether an insult, frosty comments or just grunts. Turning away she really did not feel like talking, "I ain't in the mood to talk."

"Well too bad," Duncan sat down in the swing next to her. "I came out to enjoy the swings."

Sighing she finally lifted her body up from the swing, legs feeling a bit weak from sitting still so long. Balancing herself a bit before falling back into the swing, quickly grabbing the chains as she violently fell. For a moment Duncan had moved to reach out, his hand half way when she regained her balance. Elmyra just sat there, quiet.

"Elly?"

"Don't call me that."

"Somethin' bothering you." Duncan lean back while lifting his legs, picking up some momentum. He swung while speaking, "it is not normal to watch you focus on something so much without being told it was -ERK!" Elmyra had been a sweet girl, by nature, there was not much that would not set her off. But Duncan had found just the right buttons, whatever on purpose or by accident, and was held up the collar of his shirt with a fist clenched. "Elly!"

For a minute for the fist was itching to strike, shaking with rage the girl was so angry. A lifetime of buying into things, believing what others said only made the urge to strike out greater. Grunting, she let go of her brother. Fist unrolling as she returned to just staring off into the space, Duncan just sat there as well.

"I'm not retarded."

"Elmyra?" Duncan was a bit shaken, first the outburst and this. For a few years Duncan had gone to a different school then Elmyra, she always wanted to learn the ways of being a toon and show business and he did not. Even then he would hear the jokes from students, and their friends, about how gullible and naive she can be which is true. But some times there was a few that would call her stupid, going as far as calling her retarded.

Between him and his buddy Dizzy, those people had to count their teeth on one hand when they gotten done.

"I just wanted to show the world I love them so much," she tilted her head a bit. Eyes were shining with an innocence so few have, Duncan felt a little bad about teasing the redhead so much. She shook her head before getting up again, not really finishing what she wanted.

"Elly?" Duncan stood up and walked behind, only to find Elmyra had gone in fast. He was left standing there a bit confused and a little angry, something had happened to upset his sister pretty badly which in turned made him pretty mad. His fist had curled in rage.


	8. Insert your own Stupidly joke here

Morning came to Acme Acres, after the maelstrom of emotions and events it was a surprise the streets had not turned into a war zone. For whatever reason maybe, the town was relatively quiet and the summer day was just beginning for a green duck at what use to be wienie burger before moving on just going down the street to catch up on all of the news going around the community. How this was possible was the small green dodo that often sat on the park bench, for a background character he often gets around. At the park, where earlier the mallard had meet almost forgotten Roger, was Gogo just sitting with a newspaper and dressed as some '60's spy informant. Taking a seat next to him Plucky looked around before producing a banana and handing it over.

"What's the scoop?" Plucky spoke in Elizabethan English, compete with a set of subtitles to help one reading understand what is being said.

"Word on the street is Babs is in a coma," Gogo spoke in subtitles as eyes darted back and forth. "Tried some kind of hocus pocus and it got to her."

"Tis a tragedy," Plucky spoke with a bit of surprise and shock, perhaps he should swing by the hospital as a good gesture. Gogo just glanced at him but was missed by the duck, "anything else?"

"Just the SIC is moving into dangerous territories," Gogo glanced all around. Even detaching his own head just to look upside down behind him before continuing, head still detached. "He's going after Fifi and Elmyra."

Plucky winched, "some people are gluttons for punishment."

"Yep, and the strangest thing though." Gogo had moved his head between his feet to stare up into the sky, "he walked out of the front door at Elmyra's."

Plucky had been shocked before, but that was the most shocking of all. Here was a guy, a SIC really, just managing to walk right out the house of death. "How's that possible."

"I don't know," Gogo spoke normally as he pulled himself together. "I just report the news, not make it." and with that the small dodo bird had pulled out a small umbrella before floating off into the sky. Plucky was just sat there, confused and wondering who was this guy was.

Standing up the green duck knew two things to do, one was to get Babs some flowers as a good gesture; two was to follow the new guy. There was something more to Roger Marizu then just being a SIC and he, Plucky Duck, was going to learn what it is.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

She was up, family was over joy and a pseudo-brother felt some relief as Babs Bunny just sat up and asked, "does anyone have any carrot cake?"

It was some time in the afternoon that Babs had stopped floating and returned to the land of the living, she was a bit confused of why she was in a hospital bed and why was her entire family plus Calamity was there but after the ordeal she had face after slipping the young bunny was not going to ask any questions, after being mobbed by the youngest siblings then asked how she was doing a few hundred times - in a literal sense - before the parents had ushered everyone out of the room saying she needed her rest. The moment the door was closed Mrs. Bunny had turned towards her daughter, expression not to pleased.

"What is wrong with you?" Mrs. Bunny snapped, fist clinched at her sides.

"Mom?" Babs taken back a bit, when moving slightly out of her bed.

"Do you realize you almost died?" Mrs. Bunny shouted, Mr. Bunny was standing behind her, stoic and bit zoned out. "What were you doing, did you have some kind of death wish. Why did you... you... you..."

Mrs. Bunny had fell onto Babs while hugging her tight, breaking down in sobs. There was really nothing that could be said at the moment, all Babs could do was the same. Holding onto her mother tight just to be happy to be back.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Roger fell against the wall, nose busted and bloodied, body slump in the fist of Duncan. A few minutes before the skunk was just walking down the road before being yanked right off of his feet into the ally then viciously beaten for five minutes. Catching his breath watched the angered Duff just stand there, glaring.

"What did you do to my sister?"

Roger blinked, or thought so since he cannot feel much of his face, at the question before Duncan shoved him into the wall harder then before. Roger took his fist then slammed it against the sternum of his attacker, forcing Duncan to let go for a moment, before launching to tackle him then rushed into the other wall to take all of the wind out of him. Backing up Roger did not expect the sharp kick to the stomach, then an elbow to the back of the neck. Duncan used his foot to roll Roger onto his back, "what did you do to my sister?"

"Nothin' you nutjob!" was all the skunk could sputter out before gripping the shin of the boy then spinning around, taking him down while getting to his own feet. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Someone did something to her," Duncan growled as he got to his feet. "And the last person she talked to was you."

Roger wipe away some of the blood away from his mouth, "I did nothing. You're acting like I raped her or something."

"Watch that mouth," the boy shouted. Fists clinched and ready for more, Roger stepped out of swinging range but he kept up with him. "You said something, now she had done nothing but feel bad about herself."

"Maybe it's all of those animals she sent to the grave," Roger felt so strange saying that but could not recall it once it was out. A set of knuckles met his face, sending him against the wall again. "Okay, I deserve that."

Duncan just glared, eyes sharp and narrowed. For a few minutes there was something dangerous in them, something deep and very hard that scared Roger. "Your some real work," was all he could say before his hand darted out. With a hard pull the head had came off, Monty stood there a bit stunned and dazed before being over come with anger and sheer rage, the two of the four basic emotions that Monty knows next to lust and greed. And for a moment there was tunnel vision and Duncan's tombstone appeared before his eyes.

Then, he stopped when he saw her.

Fifi.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Night had came, and while many have slept one pink bunny could not fall asleep. The adventure she had just endured and seeing her mother fall apart right before her had left her awake, things were swimming around her head and curiosity growing the young lupin carefully pulled the covers back, a sound had drawn her attention to a small piece of paper laying next to her legs. Reaching for it Babs could tell it was from her mother.

Barbara,

I know I cannot stop you, please be careful.

Your mother.

Babs stopped for a second, crumbling up the paper in one hand giving a second thought to what she was going to do. The lack of forethought had brought nothing but misery, first she had discarded Shirley's advice, second she had trusted that book that almost destroyed her. Now she wants to leave the safety of a hospital to see her boyfriend, was it a good idea?

Of course not Babs' ID had answered, Ya' almost died, lost your mind and your soul then you want to leave a place to help you if, say, you start bleeding from the ears. That seems to be logical.

Yet you did almost die to know, the superego spoke. And something could still go wrong, pick up your pride, throw out your fear and go ask him.

Babs mull over the thought before getting out of bed, moving quickly out of the hospital the young bunny had manage to make it to the streets then slowly travel towards the woods. Using both her instinct and programmed actions to make it to the small home of Buster Bunny, reaching out to knock the door had swung in. Babs Bunny peered into the darkness, straining her ears a bit to listen for a second. There was something, it was faint and hard to pick up but she knew it was there. Carefully slipping into the darkness while letting what she had learned in that place take over, her foot falls silent and breathing controlled the young girl snuck through the burrow. There was breathing, someone close by in the room close to the den which belonged to Buster's parents. Opening the slightly Babs could see the small nightlight near the master bathroom, she never asked why it was there and never really wondered why until now. Funny about those strange little thoughts, just popping out of nowhere. Returning her thoughts to reality she could tell it was nothing more then Buster's parents just laying in bed, and after a night of serious love making it seems.

Leaving the scene as it was Babs continued onto Buster's room, it never really thought how automatic her life had became since she had started the show. Creeping through the darkness in a hospital gown after the whole ordeal with the asylum seemed to scream her old life before she had joined Buster as a star, stopping for a minute she sensed something was up as her hand was halfway to the doorknob. It was a bit odd and Babs could barely tell what it was, opening the door then reaching for the light switch - without even thinking - then saw the whole scene before her. Babs could only stand there, arms crossed.

"So, how did this happen? She tripped and you fell into her?"


End file.
